Expand your point of view.

So often we become preoccupied with what is going on inside our heads. Sometimes we are so wrapped up in our own lives and issues that forget to get take a look at the wonderful world around us. Make a point today of directing your focus outwards. You may be surprised how relaxing/enlightening this can be.
Anyone know where this is?

Stay connected.

With the myriad of social networking sites (e.g. Facebook; Twitter etc.)out there it seems a shame not to keep in contact with friends or even reunite with old ones. Life is all about connecting with other people. When you are doing so, that is when you are really alive. As you are at a computer, why not try your luck now?

FACEBOOK                                                    TWITTER

Create a worry period.

If you suffer from occasional periods of worry and anxiety, here is a useful coping mechanism to help you manage. Set aside a dedicated time during the day (e.g 1700-1730) where you are allowed to focus on your concerns and worries. During this period you are free to indulge yourself to your hearts content. Outside of these times you are not permitted to be anxious or worried and are therefore free to enjoy your day. This is a well recognised technique, which I myself have used and can wholeheartedly recommend. By having a 'worry period' life can be enjoyed much more in the 'non-worry perod'.

Do you take life too seriously?

Let's be honest and say that one thing is for sure. Whether you take life seriously or treat it as a game; we know that no-one gets out of it alive! I would suggest that somewhere in the middle is a good place to be. Take those things seriously that need to be taken so and try to lighten up over everything else. Look back over your life to date and try to see if you might have enjoyed certain bits of it more, if you had taken a more light hearted approach.

The Dog Whisperer

If you have never seen an episode of 'The Dog Whisperer', I can highly recommend that you do. It doesn't matter whether or not you are a 'dog' lover. I have learned so much about myself and how I deal with other people, just by paying attention to a few simple guidelines. The energy you give out goes a long way towards what sort of energy you receive. Just be careful who you offer the dog treats to!!!!!!

Be kind because every one is fighting a hard battle. Plato.

It is often easy to become consumed with our own thoughts, worries and problems. So much so that we often fail to take into account that everyone we meet may be experiencing difficulties of their own. There is an old saying: 'I cried when I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet'. It is respectful to everyone you meet to show compassion and understanding. Give that person your full and unwavering attention; you may even forgot your worries, for a while.

Treat others as you would expect to be treated.

I had an interesting experience today. The driver of the vehicle in front of me decided to stop and have a conversation with the driver of the vehicle next to him, which also stopped. It did not seem to matter to either driver that they were holding up other people. For a split second, I consider sounding my horn and even getting out of my vehicle to go and have a word. Fortunately I was able to catch myself and decided to just sit patiently and wait. At this point I resolved to never knowingly put my time as more important than someone else's. Also, to practice being patient and not expect everyone to behave perfectly.

Do not take what is not yours.

This statement works on many levels. At its most basic, materialistic level, it means do not steal! Obviously this is illegal in most culture but also holds a moral standpoint. As with lying, if you steal, it could become habit. But worse still, you label yourself, both to others and within as an immoral person. What if your family were starving? Is it then O.K. to steal say a loaf of bread? It is morally wrong; you are denying someone else their bread and taking what is not rightfully yours. You have to be sure that you have not pursued every other recourse first. After all you could always ask. There are a surprising number of generous and understanding people out there. This is an extreme example and hopefully it will never come to that. If it does you have to trust that you will make the right decision.

There is an old saying: ‘neither a borrower nor a lender be’. If you lend to someone you are putting them in a position of responsibility. They may not always see this and not treat your property with the respect you would. Should you borrow from another you are in their debt, never a great place to be. It means you ‘have’ to reciprocate their kindness rather than give it out of the goodness of your heart. On top of that you have the added responsibility of looking after someone else materiel object and lets be honest, these demand enough of our time.

Not only should you not take of material objects, but you should also consider other things as well. Time is the most precious commodity any of us have; after all we only have a finite amount of it. My pet hate is lateness. If you are late (for no good reason) it is saying that you do not value the other person’s time and ultimately them as a person. You are saying that you hold their time as less valuable as your own and therefore them as less valuable than you! If you agree to meet someone or be someone at a certain time, do them and you the decent thing and be early if you can, or at the very least ‘on time’.

Never tell a lie.

Never tell a lie: by reporting an untruth, no matter how trivial, you saying something about yourself. Not necessarily to the world, but more important to yourself. By lying you become someone who is trying to ultimately deceive in order to prosper. Whether that be for materiel gains or just to boost your ego, by embellishing a story. A lie is a lie is a lie! The danger is that if you tell one, it becomes easy to make a habit of it and then you will change your own self perception. You will see yourself as untrustworthy and this is a disaster! You have to trust in yourself, if no-one else. If lying becomes a habit you are eventually going to be found out. Once other people label you as a liar, it is very difficult to recover from. They might even start to say things like:

‘You know when s/he is lying. His/Her lips are moving’.

What do you do then when an infant asks you if Father Christmas is real or perhaps more awkwardly, where do babies come from? If you tell a small lie to stop them from being hurt or avoid a delicate explanation, they will almost certainly find out later the truth and also the truth that you are not to be trusted. I find a good answer in these situations is to be kind and gentle by saying: ‘Wait and see’ or ‘Time will tell’. This teaches patience and also leaves a sense of excitement at the unknown, but also instilling a quest for knowledge.

A solid foundation.

In order to deal with life’s challenges. In order to become the person you want to be. You must first create an environment which promotes and stimulates growth. If you were trying to grow a plant from a seed, you would need to plant it in nutrient rich soil. Make sure it has enough sunlight and water. In ideal conditions it will flourish and grow. If it were neglected or not given a suitable environment, it would surely perish and wither. You are like the seed. In order to flourish you must give yourself the best possible set of circumstances in which to do so. You must look after yourself physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Play the hand you are dealt.

I'm not just talking about cards of course, but life in general. We don't always get what we want but we usually get what we need. If you can just find the lesson in whatever happens to you, your life will be a happier one. This applies to both the good and the bad.
Susan Jeffers (a well known self help author) suggest that we learn to say 'YES' to whatever happens in our lives. Why don't you give it a try today and see if it makes a difference?

Habits

We all have them. Some are bad for us, like smoking for example. However we continue to do it. There are habits that perhaps not quite so noticeable, but still bad for us. A good example of this would be negative thoughts. Why not keep a pen and paper to hand and make note every time you have a negative thought. It might surprise you how often this is.
You might find these thoughts will decrease over time simply because you are marking down on a piece of paper. Why not give it a try?

Meaningless talk

I watched the last 15 minutes of 'Coronation Street' yesterday. This a famous Soap Opera in the UK. Most of what I saw revolved around gossip. Talking about other people, often with negative conotations. Could it be that we see this sort of behaviour on the television and adopt it as the norm. Who does it serve to engage in meaningless and negative thoughts about others. Certainly not us.
Consider this also; if you talk to someone negatively about another person, behind their back, the person you are talking to may be thinking that you will likely do the same to them.

End to suffering

All sentient beings wish to be free of suffering and experience hapiness. If you take this thought with you throughout your day you may perceive things very differently. As a starting point resolve to never harm or kill another living creature.

Be a good listener.

When I was a young man: a good friend of mine, who was a bit of a Romeo, gave me sound advice about how to interact with members of the opposite sex.  He said, be interested.  Ask lots of questions and listen to what you are being told.  People love talking about themselves, and at the end of the conversation, if you have listened, the other person will feel great.
 This advice holds true when you talk to anyone.  Maintain eye contact, with soft eyes, to show the person that you are listening and interested.  You never know, you might learn something.

Master the Path of the Peaceful Warrior

You will often hear me raving on about the Peaceful Warrior book series by Dan Millman. Now it is possible to follow the path of the Peaceful Warrior, through an online 12 week course.  I really believe it is worth a look.

The unreachable goal!

Many people are tortured by the unreachable goal of perfectionism.  The sooner we realise that this is not a reasonable target, the happier we will be.  It really doesn't matter, if everything in our life isn't perfect. Obviously there are some things that have to be perfect.  I am thinking of things like medical procedures.  However, it really doesn't matter if our car is dirty, or if we have a hair out of place.  The next time you find yourself obsessed with getting things exactly right, ask yourself does it really matter if this isn't 100% perfect'. It is amazing how relaxing and calming it is to let go of this idea of perfectionism.  (I just caught myself re-reading this text for the third time, checking for errors).Lol

You are not alone!

Try and remember, when life gets tough, you're not alone.  Of the billions of people on the planet, everyone experiences struggles, it is not only you.  If we do not have problems, we would not grow/evolve and not appreciate the good times.  If you remember the adage ' every cloud has a silver lining', you may start to look your difficulties differently.  Try and find the lesson in everything! Do not be afraid to ask for help and do not be afraid to give it.

Be patient.

Sometimes life may seem a bit static.  You may feel like a boat waiting for the tide to come in.  This is a great opportunity to practice patience.  The tide will come in, just make sure you are ready for it.

Let go your Ego.

If ever you are in disagreement with someone consider this.  I'm being open-minded and objective or are you in some way be led by your ego  Try and step outside of yourself for a moment, let go of your ego and see things from the other person's point of view.  It doesn't matter if they do not do the same because you are making forward step.

If you have difficulties......

Life is not always smooth sailing.  We all have difficulties from time to time.  Perhaps health problems, relationship issues, or job worries, very few people are exempt.  So the next time you interact with someone, contemplate that they might be experiencing difficulties like you.  Perhaps even greater difficulties than you.  Adjust your attitude accordingly.  A smile goes a long way.

The secret to Happiness - Part 8 - Finally.

Play and have fun. Again and again. 

The secret to Happiness - Part 7 (who'd have thought it'd be this complex!?)

Initiate, develop and sustain mutually satisfying personal relationships. With others and yourself.

The secret to Happiness - Part 6

Laugh, both at yourself and at the world.

The secret to Happiness - Part 5

Display awareness of others and empathise with them.

The secret to Happiness - Part 4

Work each day towards developing yourself emotionally,intellectually, creatively and spiritually.

The secret to Happiness - Part 3

Use and enjoy solitude.  The one person you have to spend your whole life with is yourself. So enjoy! 

The secret to Happiness - Part 2

Behave in a confident and assertive manner (or calm assertive as Cesar Milan might say).

The secret to Happiness - Part 1

For the next few posts, I shall be suggesting what is needed to secure happiness.  I'm interested to hear your comments.

Today, I suggest:

facing your problems, resolving them and learning from them.

An empty cup!

This extract it's taken from a book called Zen Golf by Dr Joseph Parent:

A young man had read all the books he could find about Zen.  He heard about a great Zen master and requested an appointment to ask for teachings.  When they were seted the young man proceeded to tell the master everything he had understood from his readings, saying that Zen is about this and Zen is about that, and on and on.

After some time, the Master suggested they have tea.  He performed a traditional tea ceremony while the  student sat at attention, bowing when served, saying nothing.  The master began to pour tea into the students cup.  He poured until it was full, and kept pouring.  The tea ran over the edge of the cup and on to the table.  The master kept pouring as the tea ran off the table and onto the floor.  Finally, the student couldn't contain himself any longer, 'Stop!  Stop pouring!  The cup is full-no more will go in!'
The master stopped pouring and said, 'Just like this cup your mind is full of your own opinions and preconceptions.  How can you learn anything unless you first empty your cup?'

Is your cup empty?