Be realistic about happiness

Most of us want to be happy for pretty much most if not all of the time. But let's be realistic about this. No-one can be happy 100% of the time. Life is not always smooth sailing. Sometimes we have to ride the waves of adversity. During these moments it is unrealistic to expect us to be happy, so don't get even more upset because you are not.
I have learnt to be patient and wait for those moments of happiness, no matter how fleeting. I appreciate them even more because I know their true value and I also know they will pass. As will moments of sadness. I believe a good approach is to aim for contentment most of the time. Be content with what you have, where you are and most importantly who you are. Happiness (and sadness) will come and go but you will/can always return to the standpoint of contentment in the end. Be realistic about what happiness is to you and you will appreciate it more.

Count your blessings

So many of us have got into the habit of complaining about things in our lives that we often forget to stop and smell the roses. First thing in the morning, just before you rise, name five things in your life you are thankful for. It could be anything; from having a loving partner to simply having clean water to drink. Repeat this exercise just before you go to sleep in the evening. Try to think of different things each time. Hopefully you will soon generate the habit of being appreciative for the good in your life rather than focusing on the bad, as we so often do.


Here is a great website for learning the art of meditation and mindfulness - Headspace. There is also a great App for the iPhone.

Just let go.

Whatever you are worried about, I can almost guarantee that it won't matter in ten years. Maybe not even in 10 days or even 10 hours. Think back to a problem you had ten years ago. I bet it doesn't matter now. What's the use in worrying, it's really not worthwhile. All you end up doing is going from one worry to another. Most of which you will have forgotten about soon enough. If you find yourself moving from one worry to another, try re-framing them in you're mind as a challenge, or a chance to achieve success. This really is a more healthy approach.

Be a good listener.

When in  conversation with another person how often do you use the word I? It is always better to be interested that interesting. Strive to pay attention to what is being said and ask questions about the other person. This is so much better than not really listening and talking about oneself. Unfortunately we often fall into the trap of citing one of our experiences. Is this out of  empathy or is it one upmanship? You have two ears and one mouth, so you should listen twice as much as you talk.

You are unique.

So often we associate ourselves with our jobs so much that we often find it difficult to disassociate ourselves between who we are and what we do. If your job is becoming too important in your life then who are you when not at work. If you are what you do then when you don't you aren't! You are more than your job or Social Security number. You are unique and special person with so many facets. Explore them and enjoy being special.

What a great example.

It's heartening to read this story of the young Japanese golfer giving away this years earnings to help the earthquake/tsunami appeal. If only the whole of humanity acted so selflessly.

Thank you Kaseline.

What a wonderful world we live in. I have been desperately searching for a cougarsamurai image to use for the site. I have been extremely fortunate to find this one and be allowed use of it by Kaseline. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Our deepest fear

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

by Marianne Williamson

Thanks to my good friend Virginia (once again) for this message.

Where do you live?

This isn't a question about geography. What I really want you to ask yourself is how much time you spend living in the real world and how much time you spend in your head. I know people who are constantly looking to the future. They never exist in the present but are always preparing to do the next thing. The problem with this is that they never actually get anywhere. I know other people who continuously reminisce about the past. However the past doesn't exist except in electrical impulses in the brain.

Learning to pay attention to what is happening to you and around you at this present moment is the key to getting the most out of life. It's not easy. We are so used to living in the past and future that we sometimes find it difficult to be present mind oriented. A great way to do this is to focus on what you are doing at that time. You could be driving your car or brushing your teeth. It doesn't matter so long as you give it your full attention.

Become a Peaceful Warrior

When I was 20 years old I worked in an international college in England during my University holidays. Foreign students would come and stay for several weeks to learn English and socialise with other like-minded people. These were great times for everyone, students and teachers alike. Throughout this time however, I always felt slightly out of place. Not that I didn't belong, but more a feeling of not understanding my purpose.
I was recommended to go and see a Shiatsu (Japanese massage) practitioner called Nicola Morgan. This was a wonderful experience and I revisited Nicola many times. At the end of my first session she recommended a book to me called Way of the Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman.
I went out and bought this book and it changed my life. The book has now been made into a film. I strongly recommend you try this book, especially if like me you need some direction.



There is a special moment at the end of each out breath; this is a moment of stillness and calm. Just by paying attention to this moment you can actually change your consciousness. Take a deep in breath now and slowly exhale. Pause for a moment and notice the stillness and calm. Repeat this three more times. You should notice a complete change in your consciousness; you should be more relaxed and serene. Use this simple technique throughout your day to bring peace and harmony into your life..