Just take 10 minutes

So many of us go through our lives with problems and issues. We often become so familiar with these that we treat them as a part of us and do nothing about them. Here's an idea. Take just 10 minutes today to sit and write down all the problems you have in your life (count yourself luck if you only have 10 minutes worth :)). Give each one a number - no particular order- and resolve to attempt to sort out one of these issues in the next 7 days. For example; you might have had mild toothache for years and just learned to put up with it. Resolve not to put up with it and at least book a dentist appointment.
After this issue is resolved to the best of your ability, return to the list and have a go at the next one. It could be related to finances or relationships. Whatever the issue/problem is, it won't solve itself, but often we put up with things in our busy lives that either we don't want to address or feel we don't know how to. Take small steps and even ask for help; you don't have to handle things on your own - unless you are a very clever dentist. :)

Animal Magic

When I was a child there was a great programme on the television called Animal Magic. In this wonderful show the presenter acted a zoo keeper and spoke to the animals who would talk back to him (of course the presenter was doing the voice). The beauty of this show was the natural way in which both the animals and presenter interacted. As a child I was mesmerized.

Now as an adult I still observe animals with the same awe and wonderment, only they don’t talk to me in any language I can understand. The neighbours have a beautiful white cat that is always around our house purring and looking cute. Of course me being a soft touch I often share food with it and let it sit on my lap for a stroke and a sleep. It never fails to amaze me how little Ronnie lives in the moment and fully immerses himself into whatever is happening.

The next chance you get try and observe an animal, be it on television or for real. See the way that interact with their surroundings and live in the moment. Perhaps we all have something to learn from the creatures that we share the planet with.

What will be will be

I’m not sure who said this originally (probably good old Shakespeare again (if in doubt blame the Bard)), but it holds true that sometimes things happen that are out of our control. Learning to accept what happens rather than become agitated and upset is a great way to prevent stress. I could site examples from my own experience, but I am sure that you could cite plenty of events that have happened in your own life that you would rather had not. Think of one particular event that you did not want to happen. Try and reflect on how you handle this and the approach you took to it. Would it have been easier to handle if you had been more accepting of events and circumstances.

If things are out of your control do not waste time and energy worrying about them. To quote a line form one of Ian Flemings James Bond books: worry is a dividend paid to disaster before it is due.

Do unto others:

I have always maintained that if you treat others as you would like to be treated; your interactions with people you meet will go much smoother. I was told this by my Judo Sensei (My father) over 30 years ago and it has held me in good stead ever since.

Why not experiment today by approaching different people in different ways, making sure never to upset or offend anyone. Perhaps be overly friendly with one person and especially kind with another. People often mirror each other.

Often when met with an agitated and emotional staff member in school, I would approach them in exactly the same manner. Very quickly into the interaction I would completely change my attitude to one of serenity and calm. It is amazing how this hardly ever failed to illicit the exact same mood change in the person I was talking with.

Do unto others as you would like done unto you (sounds like Shakespeare or someone).

Stop procrastinating

Have you got jobs that really need doing, but that you have put off? Stop distracting yourself and get them done. I often find that the relief that comes from completing a job that I did not want to do, always leaves me questioning why I did not just do the job earlier rather than have it bugging me for ages. So my advice is; stop procrastinating and get it done. This gives you time to do the things you really enjoy.

Get back in touch with nature.

I play Golf. Sometimes I play a whole round and realise that not once did I take the time to look up and smell the roses. Not that there are any roses on my golf course, but what I mean is that I often forget to take in my beautiful surroundings because I am so focused on my game. This is often true in life. We are often so busy in our lives that we forget to notice the beauty that exist all around us. Even if you live in a city you can find some part of nature to come into contact with; a tree, a patch of grass or even a potted plant. Actually touching and smelling nature can help ground us and allow us to re-connect with the earth, to which we are all linked.

If you can try and re-connect with nature, if only for five minutes a day. It will help centre you and allow you to get more out of your day.

Thanks to my good mate Aaron for the image (Sleepy Bay - Tasmania).

Keep your calm

When all about you are loosing their heads (so to speak), when chaos surrounds you, when noise levels are high and no one knows what to do; you have a golden opportunity.

Take a deep breath, actively relax all your muscles and picture yourself sitting in the middle of a storm, where all is calm and serene.

Be the observer of what is going on around you, like you are lying at the bottom of the ocean watching all the activity as it passes by above. With practice you can become really good at this and actually enjoy being amongst chaos.

When I used to work in a busy school environment; with bells and children moving around constantly; I used to enjoy being the calm in the eye of the storm, when others around me where struggling. I would often help colleagues and children alike to try and take some of their pressure off them, whilst still managing my own stresses. Surprisingly some people really appreciated this, whilst some showed resentment or even jealousy. Not so much at my ability to manage things, but more because of the way it caused others to warm to me. Why not try it yourself?

Take your time

So often people use meal times solely as an opportunity to refuel. Eating is a rushed affair, with the food not being chewed sufficiently or the flavours and smells not really being enjoyed.

Imagine you are eating a banana. Firstly you should enjoy the colour. Then the smell. Enjoy the texture and taste in your mouth and finally masticate until the fruit is almost liquid in order to take the strain on your digestive system. Sorry, I’m just going for a banana, back in a mo…………………………………………………………...

Now that was a nice banana.

The same principle should be applied to everything you do. Take your time; enjoy life and all its experiences. Take in the sights and sounds, the tastes and textures. Try it today, you might find a whole new world opens up to you.

Friends/enemies

I heard a great expression once: ‘the best way to get rid of your enemy is to make them your friend’. There is another expression: ‘keep your friends close but your enemies closer’. All in all, a great way to deal with your enemy or someone you don’t get on with is to change your relationship with them. You might be surprised at how they react to your altered behaviour.

I remember 20 or so years ago when I was working in an International School in Swanage: I just couldn’t get on with one of the other teachers. Mainly I think because my first interaction with her was a negative one. One day we were walking into town together with some students; we struck up a conversation which very quickly moved onto the subject of why we didn’t get on. Within 5 minutes we agreed that it was because we were so similar! From that moment on we got on like a house on fire (I’ve never understood that saying).

Often just taking the time to get to know someone can make all the difference.

Facing Fears

So many of us let fear control our lives. We don’t ask that special someone for a date through fear of rejection; we don’t go for that dream job in case we don’t get it; and so on. I know from my own personal experience that you don’t always get what you want in life, but you usually get what you need! Without doubt the most common belief by all self-help authors in relation to fear is that the best way forward is exactly that. Facing fears and pushing through them is always better than avoidance. Strength comes from experience that you can do whatever you need to. What I have learnt over the years is that things don’t have to be perfect. Thinking they do only adds to the stress and anxiety. When you realize that you can get through something without it being perfect then fear looses some of its hold on us.

One big happy family.

I often hear people say that blood is thicker than water. OK, they don’t always use that phrase, but the gist is that family is the most important thing. I agree with this, up to a point. I agree that family is important; however I believe that everyone you meet is family. Tracing back to the origins of mankind, it could be argued that we all originated from the same place. Whether it is as decedents from the first two humans placed on the planet or from some form of evolution, we all originate from the same source and so are linked.

Our attachment to our ‘nuclear’ family is strong and usually takes priority; this is because of a familiarity and bonding over time. Try not to forget that you are related to everyone you meet, and treat everyone accordingly.

Spiritually/Religion

When I was young I was sent to ‘Sunday School’ every week. Not so much to learn about religion, more to get me out the house and give my parents a break I think. It was an interesting experience for me although not wholly a positive one.

Now I am older I choose to lead a more spiritual lifestyle that focuses on Buddhist principles, not because I disagree with or am against any of the worlds religions, but more because of my life experiences and what they have taught me.

Whether you choose a religious or spiritually path (or somewhere in the middle) I feel it is important to believe in something bigger than yourself. This gives you a place in the whole scheme of things and allows you to put your life into perspective, hopefully giving you some direction.

I have been a school teacher for the last 20 years and feel grateful that I found my life purpose early. I am also grateful that I am able to share some of my learned wisdom over the Internet. If my thoughts and words help just one other human being I will feel that my time on this planet has been of use. I often joke with Mrs. Cougarsamurai that the only reason I was put on earth was to help her on her journey through life. Of course I am saying this to show my love and support for someone who feels the same towards me (hopefully – lol).

Work

 If you ask most people about their work they would describe it as a means to an end. In other words, they don’t really enjoy it but it earns money to pay the bills. The trick here is to change your occupation to something you do enjoy.  This may not always be an option as we often have responsibilities; however there is a second trick. Change your attitude to your work. Not always easy, I know. But, why not try taking a different approach. Just start with one day. Try and be the best you can on that day. Not just the best, but try to excel at every part of your job on that day. You may find something miraculous happens. Not only do you get better results, but you might actually start enjoying yourself. As an additional bonus others may see you differently and even look up to you as a role model.

Health

Throughout your life you will see many changes. The most dramatic of these usually occur to the body. From infancy to old age, your body will go through many stages. Apparently every 7 years every cell in your body has been re-newed. So effectively the body you have now is a different one to the one you had seven years ago!

How your body copes and develops with these changes depends on how it is treated. We all know the benefits of exercise, good diet and abstaining from drugs (tobacco and alcohol included). The issue is what we do with this information. I do not drink alcoholic and have never taken drugs (apart form the occasional paracetamol. I eat what I believe to be a balanced and healthy diet (with occasional treats); I exercise daily (yoga) and increase my activity levels when I have time and the inclination. I never force myself to do activity as this creates a negative association. I often reward myself for being active by treating myself, although I often find the reward is the activity itself, even if the benefits are not seen until later.

Take care of your body – it has to last a lifetime.  Group health insurance can help.

Relationships

This refers to your interactions with every other person you meet from day to day. Be it your Spouse or other family member, your friends or work colleagues, even just people you meet in the course of your daily life. I have but one piece of advice that has carried me in good stead throughout.

                                    Treat others as you would like to be treated.

Finances

This represents a large concern in most people’s lives. Balancing the books is something that people often struggle with. Income could be used in the following way to limit financial stress. Firstly, food and shelter have to be paid/provided for. These are basic needs that must be met and include: grocery bills; utilities (gas & electric); rent or mortgage; water bill/rates and any other necessities. If there are insufficient monies to cover all the above the you are in deficit and may need professional financial help; or perhaps a second job to increase your income.

When the entire have to’s have been accounted for, then comes the fun bit. If there are monies left over after all the essentials are covered the most important thing to do next is to pay ‘yourself’. By this I mean you put money away in a savings account (hopefully about 10% of what’s left after essentials). By doing this every month you build up savings which equal peace of mind. Hopefully you will never have to ‘dig in’ to these savings and eventually they will start earning you a passive income through interest earned. With any money left over after essentials and savings you can use what’s left over as you see fit; entertainment, charity donations etc.

I wish you good luck with sorting out this important and sometimes stressful part of your life. Once finances are in order I hope you will find this helps create peace of mind.

5 key areas to sort out in your life!

A lot of troubles in your life can be solved by a little bit of organisation.

If you get these FIVE areas of your life in order, you will be amazed at the difference in your life:

1. Finances

2. Relationships

3. Health

4. Work

5. Spirituality/Religion

More on these to follow……..

Patience is a virtue!

In the modern world today most of us expect instant gratification. We want it and we want it now! Often we get ‘it’ now as modern technology allows it. Knowledge is instantly accessible via the internet; we have television on demand, and so on. The problem arises when we don’t get what we want within the timescale we have set. That is when stress and frustration sets in.

Instead of getting upset when you have to wait for something, try and view the situation differently. Turn it round in your head so that you think in fact that you have been given a gift; the gift of time. How you use this is up to you. Let’s say you are stuck in a traffic jam. Instead of getting emotional you could use the opportunity to practice your breathing; or perhaps mentally rehearse the presentation you are about to give at work. You get the idea.

Sometimes I even feel grateful that I have the opportunity to practice being patient.

The present moment.

Many spiritual teachings make reference to living in the moment. The benefits of this are many, however this does not mean that it is inappropriate to remember the past or contemplate our future. Out past is a good tool for learning as we try not to repeat our mistakes. Our future can be seen as a target for where we want to be, based on our present actions. If you want to practice being in the present moment, start with your eating. Instead of the usual way of making meals a time for refuelling, try and enjoy every aspect of what you're doing. Notice the colours, the odours and tastes. Don't forget to take your time and enjoy. Once you have mastered this, you can apply the same principles to almost every daily activity.

Are you worried or concerned?

There is a very important difference between these two states of mind. You need to consider carefully whether the problem you have needs you to be worried or concerned. If you are worried about something, the implication is that you are feeling anxiety and negative about the situation. Concern however implies that you are thinking about a solution and is much more healthy state of mind. So the next time you have an issue or problem, you might consider that being concerned rather than worried is a much better state of mind.

Wining!

Over the years I have competed in many sports. Sometimes I won, sometimes I didn't. One thing I did learn, is that the thrill of winning is often short lived and the anguish of losing lingers.
The worst thing I used to see (when I was taking school teams) was the reaction from parents on the sideline at Rugby and Soccer matches, when their team lost. On some occasions it was appalling. I couldn't help but wonder about the impact this would have on their children. Many years ago I decided that winning and losing really don't matter. The really important thing is how you react to both. In the end, the most important things are as follows; did you try your hardest; did you show respect; did you enjoy yourself? If you can say yes to all these questions then you are not the only one that will benefit. To quote Dan Millman: it's the journey that's important, not the destination.

Expand your point of view.

So often we become preoccupied with what is going on inside our heads. Sometimes we are so wrapped up in our own lives and issues that forget to get take a look at the wonderful world around us. Make a point today of directing your focus outwards. You may be surprised how relaxing/enlightening this can be.

Anyone know where this is?

Stay connected.

With the myriad of social networking sites (e.g. Facebook; Twitter etc.)out there it seems a shame not to keep in contact with friends or even reunite with old ones. Life is all about connecting with other people. When you are doing so, that is when you are really alive. As you are at a computer, why not try your luck now?

FACEBOOK                                                    TWITTER

Create a worry period.

If you suffer from occasional periods of worry and anxiety, here is a useful coping mechanism to help you manage. Set aside a dedicated time during the day (e.g 1700-1730) where you are allowed to focus on your concerns and worries. During this period you are free to indulge yourself to your hearts content. Outside of these times you are not permitted to be anxious or worried and are therefore free to enjoy your day. This is a well recognised technique, which I myself have used and can wholeheartedly recommend. By having a 'worry period' life can be enjoyed much more in the 'non-worry perod'.

Do you take life too seriously?

Let's be honest and say that one thing is for sure. Whether you take life seriously or treat it as a game; we know that no-one gets out of it alive! I would suggest that somewhere in the middle is a good place to be. Take those things seriously that need to be taken so and try to lighten up over everything else. Look back over your life to date and try to see if you might have enjoyed certain bits of it more, if you had taken a more light hearted approach.

The Dog Whisperer

If you have never seen an episode of 'The Dog Whisperer', I can highly recommend that you do. It doesn't matter whether or not you are a 'dog' lover. I have learned so much about myself and how I deal with other people, just by paying attention to a few simple guidelines. The energy you give out goes a long way towards what sort of energy you receive. Just be careful who you offer the dog treats to!!!!!!

Be kind because every one is fighting a hard battle. Plato.

It is often easy to become consumed with our own thoughts, worries and problems. So much so that we often fail to take into account that everyone we meet may be experiencing difficulties of their own. There is an old saying: 'I cried when I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet'. It is respectful to everyone you meet to show compassion and understanding. Give that person your full and unwavering attention; you may even forgot your worries, for a while.

Treat others as you would expect to be treated.

I had an interesting experience today. The driver of the vehicle in front of me decided to stop and have a conversation with the driver of the vehicle next to him, which also stopped. It did not seem to matter to either driver that they were holding up other people. For a split second, I consider sounding my horn and even getting out of my vehicle to go and have a word. Fortunately I was able to catch myself and decided to just sit patiently and wait. At this point I resolved to never knowingly put my time as more important than someone else's. Also, to practice being patient and not expect everyone to behave perfectly.

Do not take what is not yours.

This statement works on many levels. At its most basic, materialistic level, it means do not steal! Obviously this is illegal in most culture but also holds a moral standpoint. As with lying, if you steal, it could become habit. But worse still, you label yourself, both to others and within as an immoral person. What if your family were starving? Is it then O.K. to steal say a loaf of bread? It is morally wrong; you are denying someone else their bread and taking what is not rightfully yours. You have to be sure that you have not pursued every other recourse first. After all you could always ask. There are a surprising number of generous and understanding people out there. This is an extreme example and hopefully it will never come to that. If it does you have to trust that you will make the right decision.

There is an old saying: ‘neither a borrower nor a lender be’. If you lend to someone you are putting them in a position of responsibility. They may not always see this and not treat your property with the respect you would. Should you borrow from another you are in their debt, never a great place to be. It means you ‘have’ to reciprocate their kindness rather than give it out of the goodness of your heart. On top of that you have the added responsibility of looking after someone else materiel object and lets be honest, these demand enough of our time.

Not only should you not take of material objects, but you should also consider other things as well. Time is the most precious commodity any of us have; after all we only have a finite amount of it. My pet hate is lateness. If you are late (for no good reason) it is saying that you do not value the other person’s time and ultimately them as a person. You are saying that you hold their time as less valuable as your own and therefore them as less valuable than you! If you agree to meet someone or be someone at a certain time, do them and you the decent thing and be early if you can, or at the very least ‘on time’.

Never tell a lie.

Never tell a lie: by reporting an untruth, no matter how trivial, you saying something about yourself. Not necessarily to the world, but more important to yourself. By lying you become someone who is trying to ultimately deceive in order to prosper. Whether that be for materiel gains or just to boost your ego, by embellishing a story. A lie is a lie is a lie! The danger is that if you tell one, it becomes easy to make a habit of it and then you will change your own self perception. You will see yourself as untrustworthy and this is a disaster! You have to trust in yourself, if no-one else. If lying becomes a habit you are eventually going to be found out. Once other people label you as a liar, it is very difficult to recover from. They might even start to say things like:

‘You know when s/he is lying. His/Her lips are moving’.

What do you do then when an infant asks you if Father Christmas is real or perhaps more awkwardly, where do babies come from? If you tell a small lie to stop them from being hurt or avoid a delicate explanation, they will almost certainly find out later the truth and also the truth that you are not to be trusted. I find a good answer in these situations is to be kind and gentle by saying: ‘Wait and see’ or ‘Time will tell’. This teaches patience and also leaves a sense of excitement at the unknown, but also instilling a quest for knowledge.