Spiritually/Religion

When I was young I was sent to ‘Sunday School’ every week. Not so much to learn about religion, more to get me out the house and give my parents a break I think. It was an interesting experience for me although not wholly a positive one.

Now I am older I choose to lead a more spiritual lifestyle that focuses on Buddhist principles, not because I disagree with or am against any of the worlds religions, but more because of my life experiences and what they have taught me.

Whether you choose a religious or spiritually path (or somewhere in the middle) I feel it is important to believe in something bigger than yourself. This gives you a place in the whole scheme of things and allows you to put your life into perspective, hopefully giving you some direction.

I have been a school teacher for the last 20 years and feel grateful that I found my life purpose early. I am also grateful that I am able to share some of my learned wisdom over the Internet. If my thoughts and words help just one other human being I will feel that my time on this planet has been of use. I often joke with Mrs. Cougarsamurai that the only reason I was put on earth was to help her on her journey through life. Of course I am saying this to show my love and support for someone who feels the same towards me (hopefully – lol).

Work

 If you ask most people about their work they would describe it as a means to an end. In other words, they don’t really enjoy it but it earns money to pay the bills. The trick here is to change your occupation to something you do enjoy.  This may not always be an option as we often have responsibilities; however there is a second trick. Change your attitude to your work. Not always easy, I know. But, why not try taking a different approach. Just start with one day. Try and be the best you can on that day. Not just the best, but try to excel at every part of your job on that day. You may find something miraculous happens. Not only do you get better results, but you might actually start enjoying yourself. As an additional bonus others may see you differently and even look up to you as a role model.

Health

Throughout your life you will see many changes. The most dramatic of these usually occur to the body. From infancy to old age, your body will go through many stages. Apparently every 7 years every cell in your body has been re-newed. So effectively the body you have now is a different one to the one you had seven years ago!

How your body copes and develops with these changes depends on how it is treated. We all know the benefits of exercise, good diet and abstaining from drugs (tobacco and alcohol included). The issue is what we do with this information. I do not drink alcoholic and have never taken drugs (apart form the occasional paracetamol. I eat what I believe to be a balanced and healthy diet (with occasional treats); I exercise daily (yoga) and increase my activity levels when I have time and the inclination. I never force myself to do activity as this creates a negative association. I often reward myself for being active by treating myself, although I often find the reward is the activity itself, even if the benefits are not seen until later.

Take care of your body – it has to last a lifetime.  Group health insurance can help.

Relationships

This refers to your interactions with every other person you meet from day to day. Be it your Spouse or other family member, your friends or work colleagues, even just people you meet in the course of your daily life. I have but one piece of advice that has carried me in good stead throughout.

                                    Treat others as you would like to be treated.

Finances

This represents a large concern in most people’s lives. Balancing the books is something that people often struggle with. Income could be used in the following way to limit financial stress. Firstly, food and shelter have to be paid/provided for. These are basic needs that must be met and include: grocery bills; utilities (gas & electric); rent or mortgage; water bill/rates and any other necessities. If there are insufficient monies to cover all the above the you are in deficit and may need professional financial help; or perhaps a second job to increase your income.

When the entire have to’s have been accounted for, then comes the fun bit. If there are monies left over after all the essentials are covered the most important thing to do next is to pay ‘yourself’. By this I mean you put money away in a savings account (hopefully about 10% of what’s left after essentials). By doing this every month you build up savings which equal peace of mind. Hopefully you will never have to ‘dig in’ to these savings and eventually they will start earning you a passive income through interest earned. With any money left over after essentials and savings you can use what’s left over as you see fit; entertainment, charity donations etc.

I wish you good luck with sorting out this important and sometimes stressful part of your life. Once finances are in order I hope you will find this helps create peace of mind.

5 key areas to sort out in your life!

A lot of troubles in your life can be solved by a little bit of organisation.

If you get these FIVE areas of your life in order, you will be amazed at the difference in your life:

1. Finances

2. Relationships

3. Health

4. Work

5. Spirituality/Religion

More on these to follow……..

Patience is a virtue!

In the modern world today most of us expect instant gratification. We want it and we want it now! Often we get ‘it’ now as modern technology allows it. Knowledge is instantly accessible via the internet; we have television on demand, and so on. The problem arises when we don’t get what we want within the timescale we have set. That is when stress and frustration sets in.

Instead of getting upset when you have to wait for something, try and view the situation differently. Turn it round in your head so that you think in fact that you have been given a gift; the gift of time. How you use this is up to you. Let’s say you are stuck in a traffic jam. Instead of getting emotional you could use the opportunity to practice your breathing; or perhaps mentally rehearse the presentation you are about to give at work. You get the idea.

Sometimes I even feel grateful that I have the opportunity to practice being patient.

The present moment.

Many spiritual teachings make reference to living in the moment. The benefits of this are many, however this does not mean that it is inappropriate to remember the past or contemplate our future. Out past is a good tool for learning as we try not to repeat our mistakes. Our future can be seen as a target for where we want to be, based on our present actions. If you want to practice being in the present moment, start with your eating. Instead of the usual way of making meals a time for refuelling, try and enjoy every aspect of what you're doing. Notice the colours, the odours and tastes. Don't forget to take your time and enjoy. Once you have mastered this, you can apply the same principles to almost every daily activity.

Are you worried or concerned?

There is a very important difference between these two states of mind. You need to consider carefully whether the problem you have needs you to be worried or concerned. If you are worried about something, the implication is that you are feeling anxiety and negative about the situation. Concern however implies that you are thinking about a solution and is much more healthy state of mind. So the next time you have an issue or problem, you might consider that being concerned rather than worried is a much better state of mind.

Wining!

Over the years I have competed in many sports. Sometimes I won, sometimes I didn't. One thing I did learn, is that the thrill of winning is often short lived and the anguish of losing lingers.
The worst thing I used to see (when I was taking school teams) was the reaction from parents on the sideline at Rugby and Soccer matches, when their team lost. On some occasions it was appalling. I couldn't help but wonder about the impact this would have on their children. Many years ago I decided that winning and losing really don't matter. The really important thing is how you react to both. In the end, the most important things are as follows; did you try your hardest; did you show respect; did you enjoy yourself? If you can say yes to all these questions then you are not the only one that will benefit. To quote Dan Millman: it's the journey that's important, not the destination.

Expand your point of view.

So often we become preoccupied with what is going on inside our heads. Sometimes we are so wrapped up in our own lives and issues that forget to get take a look at the wonderful world around us. Make a point today of directing your focus outwards. You may be surprised how relaxing/enlightening this can be.

Anyone know where this is?

Stay connected.

With the myriad of social networking sites (e.g. Facebook; Twitter etc.)out there it seems a shame not to keep in contact with friends or even reunite with old ones. Life is all about connecting with other people. When you are doing so, that is when you are really alive. As you are at a computer, why not try your luck now?

FACEBOOK                                                    TWITTER

Create a worry period.

If you suffer from occasional periods of worry and anxiety, here is a useful coping mechanism to help you manage. Set aside a dedicated time during the day (e.g 1700-1730) where you are allowed to focus on your concerns and worries. During this period you are free to indulge yourself to your hearts content. Outside of these times you are not permitted to be anxious or worried and are therefore free to enjoy your day. This is a well recognised technique, which I myself have used and can wholeheartedly recommend. By having a 'worry period' life can be enjoyed much more in the 'non-worry perod'.

Do you take life too seriously?

Let's be honest and say that one thing is for sure. Whether you take life seriously or treat it as a game; we know that no-one gets out of it alive! I would suggest that somewhere in the middle is a good place to be. Take those things seriously that need to be taken so and try to lighten up over everything else. Look back over your life to date and try to see if you might have enjoyed certain bits of it more, if you had taken a more light hearted approach.

The Dog Whisperer

If you have never seen an episode of 'The Dog Whisperer', I can highly recommend that you do. It doesn't matter whether or not you are a 'dog' lover. I have learned so much about myself and how I deal with other people, just by paying attention to a few simple guidelines. The energy you give out goes a long way towards what sort of energy you receive. Just be careful who you offer the dog treats to!!!!!!

Be kind because every one is fighting a hard battle. Plato.

It is often easy to become consumed with our own thoughts, worries and problems. So much so that we often fail to take into account that everyone we meet may be experiencing difficulties of their own. There is an old saying: 'I cried when I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet'. It is respectful to everyone you meet to show compassion and understanding. Give that person your full and unwavering attention; you may even forgot your worries, for a while.

Treat others as you would expect to be treated.

I had an interesting experience today. The driver of the vehicle in front of me decided to stop and have a conversation with the driver of the vehicle next to him, which also stopped. It did not seem to matter to either driver that they were holding up other people. For a split second, I consider sounding my horn and even getting out of my vehicle to go and have a word. Fortunately I was able to catch myself and decided to just sit patiently and wait. At this point I resolved to never knowingly put my time as more important than someone else's. Also, to practice being patient and not expect everyone to behave perfectly.

Do not take what is not yours.

This statement works on many levels. At its most basic, materialistic level, it means do not steal! Obviously this is illegal in most culture but also holds a moral standpoint. As with lying, if you steal, it could become habit. But worse still, you label yourself, both to others and within as an immoral person. What if your family were starving? Is it then O.K. to steal say a loaf of bread? It is morally wrong; you are denying someone else their bread and taking what is not rightfully yours. You have to be sure that you have not pursued every other recourse first. After all you could always ask. There are a surprising number of generous and understanding people out there. This is an extreme example and hopefully it will never come to that. If it does you have to trust that you will make the right decision.

There is an old saying: ‘neither a borrower nor a lender be’. If you lend to someone you are putting them in a position of responsibility. They may not always see this and not treat your property with the respect you would. Should you borrow from another you are in their debt, never a great place to be. It means you ‘have’ to reciprocate their kindness rather than give it out of the goodness of your heart. On top of that you have the added responsibility of looking after someone else materiel object and lets be honest, these demand enough of our time.

Not only should you not take of material objects, but you should also consider other things as well. Time is the most precious commodity any of us have; after all we only have a finite amount of it. My pet hate is lateness. If you are late (for no good reason) it is saying that you do not value the other person’s time and ultimately them as a person. You are saying that you hold their time as less valuable as your own and therefore them as less valuable than you! If you agree to meet someone or be someone at a certain time, do them and you the decent thing and be early if you can, or at the very least ‘on time’.

Never tell a lie.

Never tell a lie: by reporting an untruth, no matter how trivial, you saying something about yourself. Not necessarily to the world, but more important to yourself. By lying you become someone who is trying to ultimately deceive in order to prosper. Whether that be for materiel gains or just to boost your ego, by embellishing a story. A lie is a lie is a lie! The danger is that if you tell one, it becomes easy to make a habit of it and then you will change your own self perception. You will see yourself as untrustworthy and this is a disaster! You have to trust in yourself, if no-one else. If lying becomes a habit you are eventually going to be found out. Once other people label you as a liar, it is very difficult to recover from. They might even start to say things like:

‘You know when s/he is lying. His/Her lips are moving’.

What do you do then when an infant asks you if Father Christmas is real or perhaps more awkwardly, where do babies come from? If you tell a small lie to stop them from being hurt or avoid a delicate explanation, they will almost certainly find out later the truth and also the truth that you are not to be trusted. I find a good answer in these situations is to be kind and gentle by saying: ‘Wait and see’ or ‘Time will tell’. This teaches patience and also leaves a sense of excitement at the unknown, but also instilling a quest for knowledge.

A solid foundation.

In order to deal with life’s challenges. In order to become the person you want to be. You must first create an environment which promotes and stimulates growth. If you were trying to grow a plant from a seed, you would need to plant it in nutrient rich soil. Make sure it has enough sunlight and water. In ideal conditions it will flourish and grow. If it were neglected or not given a suitable environment, it would surely perish and wither. You are like the seed. In order to flourish you must give yourself the best possible set of circumstances in which to do so. You must look after yourself physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Play the hand you are dealt.

I'm not just talking about cards of course, but life in general. We don't always get what we want but we usually get what we need. If you can just find the lesson in whatever happens to you, your life will be a happier one. This applies to both the good and the bad.
Susan Jeffers (a well known self help author) suggest that we learn to say 'YES' to whatever happens in our lives. Why don't you give it a try today and see if it makes a difference?

Habits

We all have them. Some are bad for us, like smoking for example. However we continue to do it. There are habits that perhaps not quite so noticeable, but still bad for us. A good example of this would be negative thoughts. Why not keep a pen and paper to hand and make note every time you have a negative thought. It might surprise you how often this is.
You might find these thoughts will decrease over time simply because you are marking down on a piece of paper. Why not give it a try?

Meaningless talk

I watched the last 15 minutes of 'Coronation Street' yesterday. This a famous Soap Opera in the UK. Most of what I saw revolved around gossip. Talking about other people, often with negative conotations. Could it be that we see this sort of behaviour on the television and adopt it as the norm. Who does it serve to engage in meaningless and negative thoughts about others. Certainly not us.
Consider this also; if you talk to someone negatively about another person, behind their back, the person you are talking to may be thinking that you will likely do the same to them.

End to suffering

All sentient beings wish to be free of suffering and experience hapiness. If you take this thought with you throughout your day you may perceive things very differently. As a starting point resolve to never harm or kill another living creature.

Be a good listener.

When I was a young man: a good friend of mine, who was a bit of a Romeo, gave me sound advice about how to interact with members of the opposite sex.  He said, be interested.  Ask lots of questions and listen to what you are being told.  People love talking about themselves, and at the end of the conversation, if you have listened, the other person will feel great.
 This advice holds true when you talk to anyone.  Maintain eye contact, with soft eyes, to show the person that you are listening and interested.  You never know, you might learn something.

Master the Path of the Peaceful Warrior

You will often hear me raving on about the Peaceful Warrior book series by Dan Millman. Now it is possible to follow the path of the Peaceful Warrior, through an online 12 week course.  I really believe it is worth a look.

The unreachable goal!

Many people are tortured by the unreachable goal of perfectionism.  The sooner we realise that this is not a reasonable target, the happier we will be.  It really doesn't matter, if everything in our life isn't perfect. Obviously there are some things that have to be perfect.  I am thinking of things like medical procedures.  However, it really doesn't matter if our car is dirty, or if we have a hair out of place.  The next time you find yourself obsessed with getting things exactly right, ask yourself does it really matter if this isn't 100% perfect'. It is amazing how relaxing and calming it is to let go of this idea of perfectionism.  (I just caught myself re-reading this text for the third time, checking for errors).Lol

You are not alone!

Try and remember, when life gets tough, you're not alone.  Of the billions of people on the planet, everyone experiences struggles, it is not only you.  If we do not have problems, we would not grow/evolve and not appreciate the good times.  If you remember the adage ' every cloud has a silver lining', you may start to look your difficulties differently.  Try and find the lesson in everything! Do not be afraid to ask for help and do not be afraid to give it.

Be patient.

Sometimes life may seem a bit static.  You may feel like a boat waiting for the tide to come in.  This is a great opportunity to practice patience.  The tide will come in, just make sure you are ready for it.

Let go your Ego.

If ever you are in disagreement with someone consider this.  I'm being open-minded and objective or are you in some way be led by your ego  Try and step outside of yourself for a moment, let go of your ego and see things from the other person's point of view.  It doesn't matter if they do not do the same because you are making forward step.